Life-No Matter What You Think

(The view from my office…)


­­­­I’m preparing my home for sale. I’m a seller. I’ve only done this one other time. I hate this. Everywhere I look in my house I see things that need to be “edited”, things long overdue for cleaning, and things that I wish I could just throw away. This is hell.

My family moved into this house December of 2014. It was the house of our dreams, a 3-bedroom home with an office, two living spaces, a basement, and 2 acres! It was our forever home. We could rear our children here, retire here, entertain grandchildren here. This house was perfect. Only five months after moving in, twenty years of marriage fell apart. I won’t go into the details. Two years later and I’m preparing my forever home for sale. It took me most of February to figure out that the thought of preparing, the lists, the work, the overwhelming task that was ahead of me had put me into a depression. There was/is so much to do and I was doing almost all of it alone. My children are of an age that they should be helpful. That’s easier said than done. Every time my son “helps” he breaks something. My daughter doesn’t want to move so she’s basically holding a silent mutiny by not cleaning up her room, ever. She goes up there and says she cleaning but she’s not. I’m going to start taking pictures to see if anything moves. Right now, I’m monitoring a box that’s in her room for movement. She cut the packing box up into a SpongeBob Squarepants and it’s sitting by the corner of her bed. So far, no movement in 4 days.

I’ve set a goal for myself, April 1st. I will have my house ready and listed by April 1st. That’s… 13 days! I don’t think I should have counted the days. I’m sitting in the only room that’s ready to rumble, my office. Do you think I can just close my daughter’s door…Being an agent and selling my own home is pretty awful. I know what needs to be done. I cannot just close the door. I cannot just sweep things into cabinets and drawers. I should wash my windows, I should weed the flower beds, I should clean the baseboards. The ceiling touch up paint is the wrong color and I Don’t Care! Boxes are moving around my house like musical chairs but nothing seems to be leaving.

I’m writing this blog for the sellers out there. I know what you’re going through. We should have a support group and make meals for each other. The good news: the light at the end of this dark tunnel is in 13 days. I will be done. No matter how it all ends up, my house will be on the market by April 1st. I will have done it. And I’ll know that I’m moving on to better things. I’ve been a military gypsy all my life. Maybe this stone isn’t done rolling just yet. Maybe calling something “forever” was a little premature. I’m still on the road and there are places still to go. My legs are strong, my will is determined, and I’m ready.


Sunning himself.

Beautiful, right? I will not miss the mowing.